Caveman Games

Cavemen are unique creatures. We view the world just a little different. For example, there have been times in my life when I failed to recognize the severity of a situation because I wasn't in immediate physical danger. It's taken me years to realize that just because it's not life threatening, does not mean it isn't serious. Coincidentally, it took me until I was in my mid twenties to see any real value in athletics, or personal physical goals. Such things seemed frivolous or trivial. After all, we don't die if we don't push ourselves to excel. The problem with such thinking is that we don't really live either. If we don't push to achieve new things, we just exist. And even rocks can do that.

Five years ago I wanted to become a more respectable caveman. One of the things I have always avoided is running. Running is hard. It takes more than a basic survival mentality to keep running when your lungs ask you to stop. I remember when I wanted to buy running shoes and my amazing cavewomen (wish I could see her face when she learns I called her that!) looked at me with bewilderment. She is the kind of person who has always pushed for excellence. But because she knows me so well, she knew that at that time, running shoes would probably never get used and would be a waste of capital.

Then I started to run. I ran a mile a couple times in primary school as a requirement. So when I ran my first mile as an adult, I thought I had really accomplished something. See, I had never run that far before unless I was being chased by a wooly mammoth or being forced by a teacher. I started asking other people who I knew were physically active if they could run a mile. Turns out most of them could. So naturally I wanted to know how fast they could run a mile. Turns out my time wasn't anything special. Have I ever mentioned that caveman are quietly ultra competitive?

Next came jiujitsu. All of a sudden, the small level of conditioning I had achieved on the treadmill had purpose. Now I needed to be able to push myself for at least 3, 5 minute rounds. Also about this time, I wondered what Uncle Sam required of a physically healthy young man. I found that if I could run 3 miles in 18:00 flat, I could ace the running portion of a special forces p/t test. If they can do it in combat boots, I was sure I could learn to do it in running shoes.

My cool wife learned to run using C25K. It worked so well for her, I decided it could help me too. It did. Fall of '08, I ran 3 miles in under 18:00. Unfortunately, by that time the bar had been moved. About a month before I was able to break the 18:00 barrier, I met a High School Senior who told me that if he wanted to walk on a state college track team, he would need to run a 5k in under 17:00. I didn't know exactly how far a 5k was, just that it was about 3 miles. My thought was, "if I can run 3 miles in under 17:00 min then I will have the conditioning of a college athlete." This was a novel concept for a caveman who had always tucked tail and retreated from the pursuit of physical achievement. At that point I decided I wanted to run 3 miles in under 17:00.

Life is busy. I work out diligently, not regularly. Until I started my fitness challenge 9 weeks ago, I have not been able to refocus on setting new physical records. But I didn't forget my goals. Last night I ran 3 miles in 16:58. That's all I really have to say about that. Cavemen can learn to run, but sharing our deepest emotions is still a nebulous undertaking.

Good salesman know the easiest way to avoid difficult parts of a conversation is to ask questions to which we already know the answers. For example, "have you ever arm wrestled?" I have. There have been times in my life where I made more money arm wrestling than I did at my second job. The following video is for my three mini caveman at home who always ask their daddy if he is stronger than random guy a, random guy b, a tiger, godzilla, a skyscraper, etc. Is it poor etiquette for me to hurriedly grab the cash pool at the end?